What must have happened to that ancestor, under a tree, on a rainy day

To make this brain feel the way it does

No sunlight to see, no insect sound amid thunderstorms,

Even wolves are looking for a roof

Muddy, wet, and gloomy to say the least

She looks at her comrade shivering under a nearby tree

Not knowing how to express comfort without any physical touch

For she can neither speak nor signal

And yet this primate conjures the courage to look up through the branches

Painting a mental picture of what angry sky gods look like

I wonder what else must have happened to this ancestor

To make this brain feel the way it does

On a rainy day, under a tree

Aug 12, 2021
On a rainy day

It feels like everything will change in September.

The same chair I'm sitting on will feel more comfortable.

The surroundings will feel photoworthy, in fact, it feels like in September I'll have a great camera to click pictures with.

I'm telling you, when this September comes, I'll have enormous amount of patience. So much of it that I'll be unphased if a war broke out around me.

That's because, in September, I'll have all of the knowledge but none of the weight of the history of the world.

I'll stop thinking about some people in a certain way, my mind will tell different stories about them in September.

I'll smile more in September but I'll have the same twisted sense of humour.

Just you wait, because in September I'll do more stuff for people I love and I'll tell them in all the special ways how much a smile on their face means to me.

In September, I'll see a rocket launch with all my bad habits.

September is going to be so transformative that it's going to affect my neural plasticity for good.

In September, I'll finally see with my own two eyes that a day has 24 hours.

If September doesn't come, my life will have been meaningless.

Perfect temperature of the mind and the body, only the balanced weather of September will bring it.

September will also bring faith with it, I'll finally start believing in the controlled delusional goodness that God is.

It feels like this will all happen in September, in September of this year.

What's so special about September you ask? And how am I so sure about it you want to know?

Because in September, I'll stop waiting for September.

Jul 15, 2021
Listening to the calm voice of George R. R. Martin at 1 AM

Do. But not out of spite, or narrowed eyes, or envy.

Do. For the thrill, the fire, and lifelong camaraderie.

Not for a higher place on some ladder,

But for the sake of memories untethered.

Floating in the sea of consciousness,

When some distant breath will remind you of the spark behind all the fire you once breathed.

And the camera will pan to your jaw, a smile will form from a corner of your mouth.

And in all that emptiness, you will know something the words can't describe, and it will be yours.

No painter or poet will steal it,

No companion will penetrate through it,

No friend will know to ask of it,

It will be yours, just yours.

May 28, 2020
Imagining sleeping on a bed in hospital about to take my last breath

Ronak Baldha
He writes code, cooks food, and ruminates.